Law School 101

I served on an alumni panel yesterday for my JD alma mater's 1L Orientation. Looking around the auditorium, I could not help but think back to the day, five years ago, when I began my own law school odyssey.

There will likely be dozens of these same panels at the couple hundred or so law school orientations occurring over the next couple of weeks. If you are starting your 1L year, a couple of words of advice about Orientation:

1. People Are (& Are Not) What They Appear to Be... Case-in-point #1: There was an uber annoying woman during my 1L year that showed up on the first day in a chauffeured car, and tried to make friends by taking a group of people out to an expensive restaurant at the lunch break. She also pre-screened the 1L directory, and specifically sought out those of us that went to ivy-league schools to be in her study group (I pretended not to hear her when she approached me...). Anywho, turns out that not only was this woman psycho, but a pathological liar to boot (plus, she was not all that smart). She said that she was transferring to another school for her 2L year, however, good authority in the Dean's Office later told us otherwise. Case-in-point #2: A woman showed up to Orientation in a cheesy-Spencer-Gifts-t-shirt (e.g., "Mrs. Timberlake"), and I immediately thought, "Oh, God..." Turns out, five years later, she is one of my best friends from law school, and one of the brightest attorneys I know...

2. First Impressions Matter. It's not just about being professional at the activities that take place at the law school itself, but it's how you conduct yourself at the bar at night that can haunt you. Let's put it this way: I did not go out during Orientation, but I knew by 12pm the next day all about the woman in my section that had already hooked up with two other men from the other section... in the same night. Know this: Your reputation on day one is golden, but if you blemish it just once, your classmates will remember it for YEARS. Even if you are the Clarence Darrow of your class, people will remember you for your escapades, not your mind.

3. Hit the Books, But Not Too Hard. Get your first assignments done a couple days in advance, and go over them the night before. This will allow the readings to sink in for a day or so. Plus, you are likely to be a bit nervous the night before, and that is never good for retention. Don't show up the first day with the entire casebook tabbed; it's a marathon, hon', not a flashy sprint.

4. Faculty May Not Be What They Seem, Either... Just don't get high expectations. Not to be cynical, but that incredibly sweet professor that appears all perfect and inspiring and motherly may let you down in the end. Instead, seek out the professor that is kind but tough, the one who demands that you earn his/her respect but then, once you do, will bend over backwards to mentor you.

The kids in yesterday's audience seemed to think I was giving them some good advice, so I might add more as the year goes by...

Out of the Closet

Judge: So, what did you do this weekend?

Me: Well, Judge, I totally reorganized my closet.

Judge: Really... Well, you are a pretty organized person. I mean, it couldn't have taken that long to do, right?

Me: Au, contrare, Judge.

Closet before:

Closet after:


I rest my case.

My Moon is In the 7th House...

My horoscope for today (and yours, too, if you are a scorpio):

Follow all your whims today, and let spontaneity guide all your decision-making.

Sweet.

When Judge, however, asks how I reached my conclusion on case X later this morning, I am not going to let him in on this...

Summer Headnotes

The three songs that have been stuck on continual repeat mode for the past week:

-Paralyzer, Finger Eleven
-Read My Mind, The Killers
-Lovestruck, JT

With the sun, the heat, my quasi-convertible, the Bose... I am a happy girl...

One L(egally Blonde)

The WSJ recently reported that "Legally Blonde" had become this generation's "Paper Chase". Okay, that's scary. One Ls should not put either their faith or reliance in any book or film to prepare them for their first year of law school. That said, I enjoyed "LB", and what's more, I loved the musical! Download the musical soundtrack. After all, I think that you'll need a playlist to get you through finals. It's fabulous. Everyone should have a law school moment a la "So Much Better." My personal favorite number from the show, "Chip on My Shoulder," offers this jem:

Guess she got a chip on her shoulder.
Maybe some wise man told her:
“With the chance we’ve been given,
We gotta be driven as hell!”
She was something to see there;
I’m just happy I could be there--
First big test and she aced it!
She’s so close she can taste it!
She gotta chip on her shoulder
Guess you never can tell…
With little Miss Woods comma Elle!

Dear New Clerk,

Just wanted to share a couple of things with you:

1. We all know about the highly inappropriate message you sent to our outgoing colleague in which you propositioned this person for a night in your company. News Flash: You're no Casanova, hon... While those of us who know about it are HIGHLY amused, we can't help but wonder what who the HELL you think you are. I mean, really. Look in the mirror. Um, 40? A little pudgy. Weird lispy thing going on. Uh-huh. Do you think that you have a snowball's chance in hell with a gorgeous younger person with an adorable, successful fiance?

2. Your panache for finding typos is a great skill, and we can't thank you enough for your attention to detail. We are so better for it.

That's all.

Regards,
C.

If I Knew You Were Comin'...

Let's say you are sucked in, as I was, to the uber-cuteness of the new Williams-Sonoma Bug Cakelet pan... Once you master the baking/decoration of the bug cakes, then what? I decided to make a bug-cake-diorama, so-to-speak. The bottom layer is a double-chocolate fudge brownie.
It was super yummy, too.

Life is Good.

I got up Sunday morning and walked the grounds at M&D's, where I saw this open before my eyes in one of the ponds.
Life is good.

OMG!!! Give him "Taxman", please!!!

This guy, a TAX ATTORNEY, is allegedly the most successful contestant on the Fox version of "The Singing Bee." Here he is doing a soulful rendition of Aerosmith's "Don't Want to Miss a Thing".
Seriously, Paul Caron, what's the deal with this guy!?!

Rhymes With Tickle...

Are you a licensed attorney in the State of New Jersey?
If so, have you had the fun of attending the infamous, and required, Skills & Methods course (a.k.a, "ICLE")?
If not (and if you are planning on attending a taped session at Seton Hall Law School), let me provide a few tips:

1. Do the homework ahead of time and bring it with you. This is for two reasons: 1. most of the people will be sitting in the auditorium actually doing the exercises while the tape is playing, and if you have any questions, you can either ask them, or; 2. get the answers to any of your questions from the tapes. You *could* bring the materials and do the homework while the tape is playing, but I don't think that the seats are space-condusive for doing so and the lighting stinks. If you do opt for the latter, try to snag a seat under a light in the very back row.

2. If you do hang out in the back, be considerate of your neighbors. First, even though it's not a work week, please remember to shower. Also, that BarBri rule about stinky food should be reinstated by the NJICLE. Lastly, if you do engage in a full-out sleep, do not, gentlemen: 1. sleep on one's back and; 2. develop a clearly obvious protuberance. [Dude, some guy actually creeped up on you and took a cell-phone picture... eew!]

3. Bring a variety of reading materials.

4. Arrange to have friends call you with "urgent" news.

5. Bring caffeine. While the folks at Seton Hall couldn't be nicer, it's dead there and you'll have to trek over to some sketchy, Newark-hole-in-the-wall to get coffee.

That is all.

Ya Down With OCD?

So, I was away taking mandatory CLE all week... It occurred after checking into the hotel that I have two predilections. The first is that I am particularly oc when it comes to setting up a hotel room to accord with my sense of cleanliness and orderliness. This process involves home-brought disinfectant, scenters, drawer liners, pillows, etc. I know, I know... The second issue is that I tend to reduntantly collect technology (see fig. above). Yep, three iPods + iPhone (took the photo). Not to mention the pink cases. I am truly pathetic...

Power Blog! Power Blog!

So, I went to this very prissy all-girls high school where sports were required but the regular athletics period was pretty much a joke (thanks to a teacher who spent a great deal of the time regaling us with stories of her dating life). However, twice-a-term the head of school would pop around to observe classes, at which point said teacher would impose upon us an activity called Power Jog! Power Jog(!) consisted of our basically jogging at a normal pace around the gym and then every so often being regaled with her shouting "Power Jog!" I should mention that the soundtrack to this activity was Marky Mark Wahlberg's bustin' hit "Good Vibrations."

Power Jog(!) was akin to getting our whole "gym" for a term in like, a week. It was major catch up...

For my faithful readers (yes, a couple hundred a week, thank you very much), I'm makin' up for a week right now.

Hence, Power Blog! (you get it...)

"Who Needs The Kwik E Mart?.... I Do..."

While I don't think that my experience out at our local 7-11-turned-Kwik-E-Mart was as neat as SJ's, here are some photos from yesterday's chamber field trip!

I purchased the Krusty Os (cereal), a six-pack of Buzz cola, the donuts, and, of course, a Squishee ($15 total). For the most part, it was pretty neat. Every sign has been changed to reflect the show; even the ATM is labeled "Bank of Springfield." As an added bonus, the franchisee (Amir) was in the store, decked out in a full Kwik E Mart uniform, and generally acting the part of "Apu."

Amir informed me that while all of 7-11 stores will be carrying the Simpsons merchandise, only the "renovated" stores feature the altered exterior and interior decor . His store will turn back into a regular 7-11 next Friday.

How-To Headnote: Pepper Burns

Tis the season for making yummy, fresh salsas, or clarified jalapeno butter for corn-on-the-cob! De-lish! Last weekend I was making another dish requiring just a bit of diced jalapeno—Crab Avocado Tostadas with Chipolte Crema (so good…). Anywho, smarty-pants C here was all careful-like about avoiding the seeds after cutting the pepper. After all, the seeds carry the heat, right?!

Yeah, not so much… Turns out that I committed the worse error when I scraped out the innards of the pepper, parsing down the white, fleshy center before dicing away. You see, as I soon learned after my hand had turned bright red and started to swell as if I had just put on a boxing glove, it’s that white part that packs the punch, so to speak.

So, after throwing my hand into a Ziploc bag of ice, I called the “Ask a Nurse” line at my local hospital, and consulted the great Internet.

Here is their advice, which I followed (in order), and that did not work:

1. Ice, intermittently, for 10-minute periods.
2. Soak affected area in milk.
3. Soak affected area in lukewarm water.
4. Soak affected area in ice water.

Finally, I called the National Poison Control Center. At first, I felt sort of stupid, I mean, it’s bad enough that I brought the excruciating pain on myself, but it’s not like a took too much Nyquil.

Anywho, here is what the NPCC recommends in case of a pepper burn (and IT WORKS):

1. Go to pantry and get a large bottle of Vegetable or Corn Oil.
2. Place enough oil in bowl to cover affected area completely.
3. Soak hand in bowl for 15 minutes.
4. Go back to pantry and get a bottle of DAWN dishwashing soap.
5. Scrub affected area vigorously with a generous amount of the soap and water.
6. Rinse and repeat.
7. Repeat steps 3-7 until pain subsides.

It turns out that the oil draws the oil from the pepper (the source of the burn) out of your skin and the washing with Dawn (designed to ‘fight grease’) will break up the oil and wash it off the skin.

Works brilliantly. Hope I never need it again!

That is all.

Book Brief: Chambermaid

Dear Saira Rao,

So, I just finished your novel Chambermaid, and I must say, after all of my wishing and hoping that someone would fictionalize the life and times of a Federal clerk, your book has answered my prayers. Now, whether the rest of the legal community, let alone the general public, feel as I do, remains to be seen.

This said, I have a few questions/comments for you:

First, was the whole cheating-Pakistani-boyfriend-part a personal statement against arraigned marriage? If so, well played. I can sort of relate; some of my best friends have faced the same issue (with heart-wrenching consequences, I might add).

Second, did you happen to get a call from Judge Sloviter wherein she asked, "WTF?" Have other former or current clerks reached out to you to compare notes and sympathize with your experience?

I obviously understand and identify with your need to creatively vent on the on-goings of work-life. Law clerks tend to bond together but when, as in your case, the bonding process is plagued by difficult co-workers and a nightmare Judge, it can be difficult. I know, sister. I am right there with you. However, I just wonder what made you break the bonds of Law Clerk secrecy? I suppose you never intend to practice law again, right?

We are entrusted by our Judges (love em or hate em) to respect their privacy, and I hope that this trust is a two-way street. I mean, I think it is clear from your book that you felt trust on her part was clearly not present. I wonder, though, if your "real life" experience was worse that the book? Because if it was not, as I am inclined to think, I wonder if your account (albeit fictionalized) does not somehow sever that trust? And I am not talking about the narrative relating to how cases are reviewed and reports are drafted, as I think that those processes should be as transparent as possible. I am talking about your portrayal of the Judge as a person who did not seem equipped to take action when her demented husband is standing in a deli, in downtown Philadelphia, in his underwear, and in the middle of winter.

I, too, often wonder what goes too far here, but I am also not publishing a book, and setting it in a particular city at a certain court. I suppose that you reached a point where you knew you never wanted to practice again and so, sacrificed your career in law for one as a writer. I use "sacrifice" because I am just not sure if the legal community at large would respect your choices.

Lastly, and irrespective of the foregoing, I really did enjoy your book (far, far more than the ghastly "Ivy Briefs" (Book Brief forthcoming!) that I picked up at the same time), and it certainly gave me a bit to think about. I look forward to your next novel...

Cheers!
C. Erroneous

Are You There, Judge, It's Me, Your Clerk?

Seriously?!?!

J's door has been shut for most of the afternoon.

I last heard J talking on the phone at 11am.

It's been *dead* silence since then...

To top it off, I am the only one in chambers this afternoon. I wonder if J's taking a nap or (gasp) worse?!

Harry Potter Gradutates! Harry Potter Graduates!

Okay, while not to be a spoil(er) sport, I now am convinced that the Epilogue that I read online Tuesday night was the 'real deal'.

Both the Baltimore Sun and the Times have released reviews of the book:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/lifestyle/bal-to.potter19jul19,0,6775865.story
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/19/books/19potter.html

(Interestingly, the Times bought the book at a store in NYC yesterday.)

As a kid (hell, even now), I was a big fan of the C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. If the Sun is right, and we see a Rowling-homage to Mr. Lewis in this final installment, I will be all the happier.

Curiosity, 1; Cat, 0 (Harry Potter, ?)

Just as I was about to log off of my computer last night, one quick glance at the Yahoo! homepage stopped me in my tracks...

"Photos of Harry Potter Book Leaked on Web"


Yeah, I know, if I didn’t want to know, I shouldn’t have gone there. I did.


After clicking on the Yahoo! News story (Yahoo! News is actually, perhaps sadly, a big staple in our house), I was re-directed via links therein to the actual site(s) containing the purported "leaked" photos from the book. Before me, lay photographs of the alleged Table of Contents and Chapter 7 and, oh yes, the Epilogue of the book. This "book leak" story is so big that even J knows the details. J asked me what I thought about the validity of the photos with *almost* the same seriousness as J asks about cases I am working on. Alas... Anyway, together J and I just perused the various Webpages touting their own "authentic" photos of the book. As far as I can tell, however, there are few of these sites still up and running.


I have absolutely no idea if any of the photos I’ve viewed or pages that I have read (yes, again, I know, I know) are legitimate. I think that the theories about all of these versions being the brainchild of Scholastic/Bloomsbury Press are somewhat far-fetched. I do think that if any of these are "hoaxes" that no matter who created them, the time, energy and creative thought that went into fabricating these examples is commendable.


I will, however, say this; If, indeed, one of these versions is the legitimate one, shame on the spoiler. Children have so little left as innocent surprise anymore. Why do it? Are you a disgruntled Barnes and Noble lackey? Were you not loved as a child? Do you need attention and constant validation?


And, for those who say (as one of the photo-posters remarked), "this is crap and there is no surprise and the book is a disappointment", I remind you that the HP series is, after all, a children’s series. Some modicum of what can be called a ‘happy ending’ should be expected.


As for me, whatever joy I had in reading the HP series might be over as soon as I walk into a bookshop sometime over the weekend and pick up a copy. If the first line of the Epilogue looks stunningly familiar, I’m afraid no spell will be able to bring that magic back.

Hah, Never Seen (K)ristal Pour Faster...

Although no teetotaller, I am not a big drinker... Remember the line from Grease: "I don't drink or swear, I won't rat my hair, I get ill from one cigarette (cough, cough, cough)." Yep, that's pretty much me. Then, I recently discovered Kristall.* No, not THAT one--this one! Truly, truly there is no finer bevearge. Let's put it this way, I braved the IKEA parking lot last Saturday just to run into the "Markut" to buy a case of the Kristall Pear. Yep, it's that good. Run, don't walk.

*Kristall is a non-alcoholic beverage. But saying that I am "jones'n for some Krisaalll" makes feel a bit like a lush.

The Cookin' Clerk

J is hosting a cookout/tennis tournament/pool par-tay this evening, and I am bringing the following:

Nigella's Pea, Mint, and Avocado Salad
http://www.recipezaar.com/45122

As a bright note to an otherwise ghastly week, I did get to perform some unique research for J this week including: How many tankers of beer can a full keg fill?; Social Host laws in State X; Tournament Rules for the US Tennis Association; and at-home breathalyzer tests.

Tonight should be fun.

You ARE NOT the Bar Passer!

Dear Ladies Studying for the Bar at the Barnes & Noble Cafe,

Hey, Girls! It was great chatting with you yesterday. I felt so badly for you, sitting there surrounded by heaps of BarBri books, as I nonchalantly added Splenda to my no-whip, skinny latte.

Then, after wishing you “good luck”, you let me in on the fact that the study aids were a mere illusion, as your major accomplishments of the day to that point had been parousing (free-o-charge, natch) the better women’s magazines carried at B&N, sipping Frappucinos, and scarfing down scones (why yes, they are yummy, aren’t they?!). Moreover, you admitted to taking part in this same ritual (get to B&N at 9; read until 11; do about 25 MBE questions and then “study” until 5) daily since BarBri ended a week ago. Ah, yes, we laughed, studying for the bar is a bitch, isn’t it!?

After our encounter, I thought, “And people wonder why they fail the bar?!” Seriously. I am not saying that you need to be chained-up in a library 24/7 for the last two weeks of July, but you at least need to treat bar prep more like a job and less like the “reading days” before undergraduate exams. I am all for your taking some down time, but trust me on this, there will not be a MBE question predicated on why or why not empire-waist dresses will be hot this fall.

When I mentioned that I, too, had taken some “down time by seeing a movie or two, myself”, you chuckled that the only movie you should be watching right now would be one about the bar exam. Well, perhaps. But, I wonder, why aren’t you motivating? You both are going to (good) jobs, and surely, they will care greatly come November if your names aren’t on the pass list, so really, are you just in a slump, or do y’all need a kick in the arse?

Then, it came to me. Maybe the solution would be for a camera crew to follow you both around documentary-style for the next two weeks. Then, instead of finding out if you passed by refreshing the BBO page like, a zillion times, in the comfort of your own home, you would find out in front of the country on the Maury show. That’s right, the “who's-your-baby’s-daddy-Maury” show. Wouldn’t that do the trick? Would it NOT also be an entertaining ‘lesson’ for scads of unmotivated bar preppers?

Oh, yes, yes, I think so.

Anywho, gals, best of luck. I am sure that you’ll do great.

Love,
C

Clearing the Bar (Exam) (p.2)

Yeah, okay, so maybe some of my bar exam prep hints read like a checklist for a girl scout camping trip. Does that make me craaaazzzaaay? Look, as I told the friend who called me for the advice in the first place (and who did so knowing of my compulsions and major anal retentiveness), I am not saying that my advice is the holy grail of bar passage* but hell, it worked for me.

A couple of details that did not make the list…

PMBR (3-day): While I totally disagree with their aggressive (and perhaps misleading) marketing in law schools (I once practically came to blows with the regional attorney rep after he plastered PMBR posters over a large poster I had just hung up for our law school’s largest public interest fundraiser of the year), I don’t necessarily think that there is anything bad in doing a practice MBE under quasi-real conditions, as long as you realize (and don’t get psyched-out by the fact) that the ‘PMBR gimmick’ is testing the most niche issues. If nothing else, the experience of being around other bartakers after 3 weeks of post-BarBri silence was a good prep for the stress of exam day. As far as the review goes, I wouldn’t stick around for it if the review were ‘Feinberg-on-tape.’ I took PMBR “live” and it was bearable (humorous, actually) thanks to the lecturer. I was not one to think about costs during bar prep, but I do think 400 bucks is a bit much for a practice-exam-plus-review-on-tape. If you don’t drop that coin, I still recommend trolling eBay for the red and blue books for those questions, though, as I think that they are written more like the ‘real’ MBE than BarBri/Micromash.

Hotel: Unless you de-stress through commiseration, or it is not feasible or convenient otherwise, I would recommend staying in a hotel that is not the “official” bar hotel. If you do stay in a hotel with other examinees, wear your iPod everywhere (even to get ice – no where is safe!). It’s not that you will be psyched-out by some jerk droning on to himself about the Equitable Conversion Doctrine, it’s just that you should not be bothered hearing other examinees babble on. Why tamper with your preparation and what you know? Personally, I checked into my bar hotel early on Sunday, which gave me plenty of time to settle in and get comfy before Tuesday. Since State #1 was the one that I was not familiar with, I woke up Monday like it was Tuesday, and trekked out to the bar exam site at the appointed time. Also, if you want a quick, simple way to deal with bagging lunch on exam days, ask the kitchen staff to prepare a boxed lunch for you and bring it with your room service breakfast. (Did I mention that I was ALL about the comfort during bar exam week?)

*Look, some folks just do just want to pass. I was not one of them, however, and did not take well to that BarBri lecturer who urged me to “aim for a D.” The way I saw things, I never settled for less than perfection before, so why start with the bar? Also, contrary to my reputation for being nice, I did wear my top-l0 law school-emblazoned hoodie to all three days of the bar because: (1) the two ballrooms were both freezing, and (2) I am proud of where I went to school, thank you. Did this make me a bar bee-och? Maybe. My point: do what makes you happy and comfy, and if that means wearing your Smarvard or Smale sweats, then do it.

That is all.

iYawn

Dear iPhone,

I fear (gasp) that your thrill is gone.

I'd been looking for just the right words to say it, and then I found this:

An iPhone Changed My Life (Briefly)

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/05/fashion/05Cyber.html?_r=1&8dpc&oref=slogin

I still heart you, iPhone, so please don't do anything stupid on me like crash or display the 'screen-of-death.'

Love,
C

I Fought (sort of) the Law... and I Won!

Dear Officer Krupke,

I will admit, when you jumped out from your clever hiding spot behind that tree and stepped in front of my swiftly moving vehicle this morning, I thought I was a goner. Maybe your heart broke at the sight of my adorable little puppy on the passenger's seat. Or perhaps you were moved by my, "Oh, I am so sorry! Was I REALLY going that fast?! I-am-just-going-to-be-late-for-work-and-my-boss-is-a-little-nuts-and-I-need-to-drop-off-my-cute-little-doggie-here-and-did-I-mention-that-my-boss-is-a-narcissistic-spaz?" story.

Whatever the reason, Officer Krupke, I heart you.

I shall head my warning, to be sure!

With gratitute,
C. Erroneous

Clearing the Bar (Exam)

A friend of mine who just graduated from law school, and who is currently prepping for the bar exam, called me last night to ask my advice. It’s not that she hasn’t heard her fair share of tips and tricks (no doubt thanks to those friendly folks down at BarBri...), but she wanted my perspective, for whatever it’s worth. Also, I think that since I took (and passed) the two states that she is sitting for, she was curious to know what I did to ensure success. It can be hard to stomach bar prep, period, but when you are heading into a clerkship (like I was... she’s also going to clerk--for a State supreme court judge), it can be even tougher to motivate. First, chances are that you will not be required to pass the bar right away and second, even when you do pass, you are forbidden from ever using your newly-minted law license. (Hell, you can’t even talk about work, let alone be a “real” lawyer.) Plus, after spending three years gunning for As and nailing down a job to-die-for, the last thing you want to do is study for the bar. That said, here are my top five tips for prepping for and passing the bar. I am not saying they are fail-safe, but I think they are nonetheless practical and realistic.

1. Pack Now

No matter whether you are driving, flying, taking the subway, etc., get your bar packing done this weekend. Trust me. I drove between two states and actually packed my clothes, etc., and everything else on July 4th. I made a checklist of everything that I could possibly need and did my “bar shopping” at Target on the morning of the 4th. It was a great study break, too. I packed everything from my clothes for the exam, running stuff, pjs, etc., right down to extra contacts and toothpaste. I also bought a flat of Vitamin Water and assorted snacks and treats at Costco and packed those in a large Rubbermaid container. Most importantly, I made up a clear, Ziploc bag for each day of the bar exam and labeled it accordingly (i.e., “NY - Tuesday”). I put everything in that bag that I would need/be permitted to take in for that day--right down to a photocopy of my ID and admissions ticket in case I forgot them at the hotel, and a tiny “snack size” baggy of unwrapped mints and jelly beans. I did this for each day so that I could just come back to the hotel, throw that day’s bag in my spare Rubbermaid and put the next day’s bag in my purse. OCD, maybe... One less thing to stress about... definitely! OCD Tip: Pre-sharpen your pencils for each bag and then loosely wrap them in a cotton ball and Saran Wrap--the tips won’t break and you won’t have to worry about fighting the line for the sharpeners at your test site.

2. When You Don’t Think You Can Do Another MBE Question... Do 10 More! (And Keep Tab on Your Mistakes!)

IMHO, the key to success on any bar exam is the MBE and, to that end, it will not matter one iota if you can recite verbatim all 16 pages of your condensed property outline a la Chemerinsky. You must do MBE questions everyday. At least 50--ideally, 100. And, you have to go for quality review of these questions, too. Here is what I did: 1. In addition to going to BarBri, I ordered an old copy of the Micromash software and did 17 questions per day (at least) in each subject. (I did not do any of the BarBri questions, except for the simulated exam.) 2. I went out to Staples and bought a 6-subject notebook. 3. For each question that I missed on MM, I would summarize the rule/exception in the corresponding section of the notebook. 4. In addition to my condensed outlines for each subject, I would reread the notebook everyday. I cannot stress how much this helped me. Plus, the notebook was my friend by the end of the process. I actually read it over breakfast before the MBE. It comforted me to be reminded of all of the traps I learned to avoid in the minefield that is the MBE.

3. Essays = Timing and POA!

Timing... You MUST practice essays in real life conditions! I don’t think that it matters so much for the MBE (unless you are an unusually slow reader or you just have not prepared adequately (i.e., 1800-2200 practice questions) for the exam), but you MUST do essays under exam conditions! I did three in the morning and three in the evening for the last two weeks. I actually used the MM state books (also purchased off of Ebay) because they contained actual old exams. I would pre-flag the six essays for that day, then clear out my carrel of everything but my clock, pen and scratch paper... I wrote FULL ESSAYS, too! This is essential. One source that proved excellent for me was the Gallagher book, “Scoring High on Bar Exam Essays.” I think that her advice on reading, rules, and outlining is great. To that end, I think that it is also essential to have a POA by subject for your essays, and Gallagher’s book is actually very good for getting you to think about that. For example, my essays in one of the two states all began with the same 3 sentences (some variation, of course). It calmed me down and got me into the same mode I was during studying.

4. It’s Elementary, My Dear

Essays are really where you will need to regurgitate bblaw elements verbatim. I used mnemonics a lot, but in order to memorize I did the following: 1. Culled mnemonics from BarBri, PMBR, blogosphere, my own, etc. 2. Made sheets with bblaw terms or mnemonics on the far left had side and the definition or elements on far right. 3. Quizzed myself each day by folding the paper over in half. 4. To reinforce this learning through kinetics, I went out and purchased a small dry-erase board.; 5. I would then quiz myself by again folding the sheet in half but this time, writing out the “answer” to the term or mnemonic in “bar exam essay rule style” on the dry-erase board. The rules on my essays just flew onto the books during the actual exam. (This must have worked, I guess, because one of my essays (evidence) was actually reprinted by the BBO as a sample answer! Sa-weeet!)

5. Expect the Unexpected.

Everyone, including you, will have a “bar exam story.” Just be prepared for ANYTHING to happen. Your testing center, like life, can be unfair. For example, you may SLICE open your finger when removing the MBE answer sheet from the exam book, only to discover that none of the proctors know if and where the hotel/BBO staff keeps a band-aid. Or, you may be assigned to a seat in the last row of a ballroom, 10 feet away from the kitchen staff who take great delight in banging every pot and pan in the joint while rockin out to Shakira. Don’t let ANY OF THESE THINGS GET TO YOU. You will laugh about it later, trust me.

P.S. - This is also true for the exam itself. The MBE folks love to harp on some obscure point in the outline that you glossed over. For my bar, it was sentencing hearings... Also, there will be at least ONE totally new property term that you’ve never heard before. Trust me. Don’t let it throw you. Remember... ANSWER. BLACKEN CIRCLE. MOVE ON. REPEAT.

GOOD LUCK!

That is all.

School's Out for Summer?

A common misconception around here is that once July 1st rolls around things become quiet.

NOT TRUE.

That is all.

Dear New Clerk,

Welcome to the Court! You are making QUITE the first impression. Here are a couple of tips to make your transition a bit smoother:

1. DO NOT tell people that you graduated first in your law school class within the first 5 minutes of conversation. NEWS FLASH: Most of us did, hon'. That's why we're here...

2. DO NOT tell let the following come out of your blowhole again: "Well, you know, I owned a quite a few successful companies in my day before going to law school and so, when one morning I woke up and thought I needed a new diversion, I applied to law school -- har, har."

3. DO NOT assume that all of the women that you are introduced to are secretaries/confidential assistants/assistants/lackeys. Don't be alarmed, but there is already one of your new colleagues calling you "piggy."

Feel free to stop by if you have any other questions.

Sincerely,
C. Erroneous

And There Was No Doubt About It...

(First photo snapped on the iPhone...)
Saturday, June 30th.
Roadtrip to...
PNC Park, Pittsburgh
Bucs win.

iLove, iHate, and well, iJust-Don't-Know

UPDATE: AT&T informed me at 4am that I was fully activated. It seems that the onslaught of folks activating phones in the PST timezone were to blame for the delays...

So far, so GREAT!

iLove: Just about everything; the iPhone definitely lives up to its hype! I particularly like the YouTube clarity and the email/SMS displays...

iHate: The Keyboard... or, I need to put my thumbs on a diet.

iJust-Don't-Know: Yeah, Safari is cool and all, but unless you are on the NYT webpage, it's hard to read... The camera is crap, but I wasn't expecting much... Video would have been nice.

One request: Anyone figured out yet how to import a ringtone from iTunes?

iWait, iWait...

It's 2:00 am.

In 3 hours, I will have been up for 24.

At 5am yesterday morning, I began my iPhone adventure.

Oh, I have an iPhone. In fact, I was, like, 10th in line at the Apple store near my home. Props to my line-mates, and the staff at the Apple store. Barbs to the mall rent-a-cops, however--you all really need to get a clue.

So, at 5:55pm, I became an iPhone owner. Due to previously scheduled travel plans, I had to board a plane at 8:30 this evening. When I finally arrived to my destination about three hours ago (and after showing the iPhone around to the folks), I finally hooked up the phone and my Mac. Yep, it's 2.5 hours later and I am still up... iWait, iWait...

First (and my fault, totally), I needed to upgrade my version of OS X (I already downloaded iTunes 7.3 this afternoon). But that was only 15 minutes. Then, I hooked up the iPhone, filled out the AT&T information, and waited for activation.

It said it would take "up to 3 minutes..."

Oh, I don't think so...

I just got off the phone with the GREAT (sincerely) staff at the AT&T call center located "somewhere on the OH-PA border." They've told me that activation times are now averaging 5 hours...

It seems to me that Apple had its act together, totally. AT&T, on the other hand, not so much. Well, at least I did not have to suffer on hold with them...

I Heart Keith Olbermann!

Not only is the Countdown "must-see-tee-vee" in our house, but look how KO well, KOs, HP #7!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19436954/

Bang a Gong, Get a Bong...

If I had to say one thing that is different from my life pre-clerkship and now, it would be that I am no longer surprised by Court decisions... Cases look a whole lot different when you have the entire legal file before you, and when you've mulled and debated the issues involved within chambers and/or with other clerks. Mainly, this is because of the intense scrutiny afforded to the entire legal file. IMO, once the J is satisfied with his/her conclusion, it seems like the rest of our time it spent justifying, nay, bolstering that opinion to make it as robust as possible. Not earthshattering, I know, but once debate ceases, justification ensues. Sometimes, "there is no debate." It's a nastly slide down from "what is the right decision?" to "we are right because..."

If I could visit this record more closely, I would ask how part of a sidewalk across the street from a public school is actually part of school grounds? Or, at what point a student, who is dismissed from formal school activities for a period of time, is far enough removed from the school building (or, in the alternative, the purpose of the dismissal is far enough removed from an educational purpose), to cause a disconnect between that student's actions and school-sponsored speech?

Starbucks Observation No. 1

Is it REALLY that hard, people, to say "excuse me" when reaching across to grab your sugar/milk/stirrer at the Starbucks condiments bar?! I love how the same people that will wait long enough for the "barista" to get their "double/double, skinny, mocha, half-caf, more-wet-than-dry" drink perfect can't extend simple, common courtesy when dumping, like, 5 Equals in it.

Ecclesiastes!!! You mean, the designer?!?!

To everything,
there is a season.

In clerkland, summer is the season of goodbye.

Your colleague clerk leaves for her "real" job.

She can't wait to send out her goodbye email (to who?, every J?, their staffs? -- some of these are people you've never met?!)
She has forwarded you drafts of said email for your review. ("Uh, it's okay, I guess...")

She's been asking you everyday, "So, did I tell you how much they're giving me for a clerkship bonus?"
Yes, you did.

Truth be known, I kind of don't want her to leave. In every job, there should be that one person who is sort of a slacker (last time I checked, Vogue.com was not a valid place to conduct hours of legal research) so that you can pretty much do the bare minimum and look like a rock star, comparatively. It's not like I have gained a tenable advantage from this situation, mind you, or tried to make said co-worker look like crap (unlike others in office), but I still can't help feeling that sad that the "office joke" is leaving. OJ (ha!) has dropped "hints" about what her goodbye gift should be... Hmm... and you would be deserving (and it would be appropriate) to give you the new iPhone, why?! (No, not joking...)

What is appropriate? A card, a nice lunch (J pays, of course), a cake at 4pm, no? And, heartfelt wishes for good luck, right?

Or, am I being too harsh?